"How did he die?"

Ever since Nora was 2 or so she took an interest in how things died. I think this stems from her fascination with dinosaurs, since at the end of almost every book it talks about how they went extinct. I remember the first time she really understood that dinosaurs were extinct and how sad she was talking about missing them and never being able to see them.

Since then she has asked how my mom and Wendy's dad died, as well as how all of our old pets died. We have also talked about how plants die and she got sad this year when the trees lost their leaves. It was kind of striking at first, but since Wendy and I are "reality based parents", we were happy to explain how our loved ones have passed. Nora has always taken it in stride and has asked a lot of questions, about how we felt and how we still fell ("Do you miss her?"). There is a reason multiple teachers have called her the most empathetic kid they have ever taught.



About a month ago we were reading a book about Washington D.C. they showed the mint and a $5 dollar bill, so she asked who he was.

G:"Abraham Lincoln, he was President of the United States."
EKG: "Is he dead?"

G:"Yes he died a long time ago."

EKG:"How did he die?"

G:"Well, he was shot and died."

EKG: Looking confused -"But I get shots and I don't die."
G: Realizing I just crossed a line of childhood innocence - "Well a man shot him with a gun and killed him"
EKG:"What was that mans name?"
G: "His name was John Wilkes Booth."
EKG: "Why did he kill him?"
G: : Wish I had given cancer as the cause - "Well Lincoln did a lot of great things, but some of those things made some people mad."
EKG: "He must not have been a nice man."
G: "No he was not a nice man at all. But Lincoln accomplished so much before he was killed we still celebrate him as one of the greatest presidents."

She got very quiet and had tears in her eyes, so I hugged her and tried to be comforting. Well, as comforting as one can be about murder anyway.

It's funny how desensitized you become about murder and violence, it's on the news and in almost every tv show or movie. It was sweet, and a little sad, to see her shocked reaction to the idea that people would willingly kill each other. She is used to things dying and animals killing and eating meat, so I didn't think of the difference until I saw it in her eyes. I'm glad at almost 4.5 years old it came as such a surprise to her that humans can be cruel. For many kids her age person on person violence is a reality not a revelation. She will have plenty of time as an adult to deal with hurtful people, she should enjoy the innocence for as long as she can.

Of course, she was fine the next morning and the next time we read that book she remembered Lincoln's name. How he died didn't come up in the conversation.