When I was Three & For the Love of Science

Nora Kate has taken to reminiscing about "When I was three, I..." (fill in the blank). It is quite hilarious, that at the ripe old age of 4, she considers being three her personal life history, filled with many lessons worthy of being passed down to her brother. I am very proud of her, she is growing up so fast and maybe she senses it too. She is doing "chores" she will proudly tell anyone: feeding and making sure her two baby kittens have water and a clean litter box. Today, she dressed herself from top to bottom proudly and completely independently. Love it-sad by it-love it (I waffle at these moments, but tend to outwardly only show the love it part of me). On Wednesday, Geoff and I attended the Columbus Public Schools' School Choice Fair, to select a kindergarten for our girl. I can hardly believe she will be old enough. We have to choose three schools to try and lottery into. Applications are due in 27 days.

I've been posting a lot on Facebook, and have decided that although I like connecting with old high school friends and lots of my cousins, I miss the posting and writing that this blog provides. Above is a picture from a great morning play date with our friend Evey. Jack is a pirate bumblebee, of course. Speaking of Jack, he just had his 3 year check-up (7 weeks late).

Jack, at age three and 1 1/2 months is 40.5 inches tall and 43 pounds--both in the 97th percentile. This is significant because Jack has always been a much lower percentile in height than weight. Now, he is at the top in both. That was yesterday. Today, for the love of science, Jack and Mommy participated in a 2 hour experience at the Ohio State University Lab for Family & Child Counseling that had he and I doing all kinds of fun things. We played with an Etch-a-Sketch where he could move one knob and I could only move the other and we had to try and complete a maze together. He had to sort things by color and shape, point to answers from 4 pictures, unlock a box with a toy inside, and put toys away on cue. He also endured the "treat" waiting game and the scary mask experiment. Jack waited a FULL eight minutes (the extent of the experiment), like he was told, to get a treat which was right in front of him. He did not lick it, taste it, or even touch it; even when he was left alone. The three 18 year old experimenters could not believe that he had so much patience. I simply said, "Second child. He is used to waiting for things." For my part, I was given a vocabulary quiz and was feeling pretty good until the last 10 words or so. I actually asked if the last word was English because I had never heard it. I am sooooooo curious how I did. Jack got every answer right in his tests, until he tired of the "games" and started his own by giving obviously wrong answers. When he pointed to a circle when asked to identify a diamond, I whispered in his ear, "Jackson Caulfield, are you playing a game with her?" He smiled at me and nodded his head ever so slightly, like we were in cahoots against them. It made me laugh and I hope the video tape caught the exchange. He is a brilliant kid who I had so much fun with--although I wanted to help him through the tasks. He didn't need me, except for comfort and security. It was a good day to be this kiddos' mom, which is nice given that upon coming home, my primary task was to wash poop out of underwear. Ah, motherhood.

Speaking of motherhood, my Eleanor has been quite the lovely child lately, after a long few months of throwing fits and yelling like a banshee for not getting her way. Honestly, the "terrible twos" is a misnomer or a left over from when people only lived until age 40. Three to Four and a half is B-A-D. Being told to "stop bossing me around" by a pre-schooler and the sassiest "NO!" you can ever imagine are hopefully memories now that my girl is on her way to five. Here, Reggie snuggles in for night night.

I don't remember when I was three, but Nora asked me the other day if I liked being an adult. I answered "Yes, I do" and then she grabbed my hand and said, "I'm glad you're a Mom best of all." Awwww, me too kiddo.

Nora Droppings

Nora loves being a mother. A couple months ago I took the kids to the park and while I was busy playing with Jack, Nora found her way over to an 8 month old baby in the swing. I went over to make sure she was playing gently enough and the mother assured she had been “very sweet”. The baby’s name was Rex and Nora was happy pushing him and talking to him in a baby voice until it was time for Baby Rex and his siblings to leave. For the entire ride home and several days/weeks after she kept talking about Baby Rex and when we would see them again.

As a good older sister she also likes to mother Jack, at least when she isn’t picking on him. She will try and comfort him with toys, or songs when he is upset. She also like to be the “mother” during baths and tries to wash him, which results in the bathroom floor being covered in water. Sometimes she will talk to him in a baby voice, “You like trucks don’t you, Jackie?”, “You’re a good little boy!” and react like a proud Mama, “awwww, he is the cutest!”.

She has been talking like an expert and using the phrase “of course”, as in “Well, I needed to get the dinosaur eggs, of course”.

This confidence has cause her to argue with us on some phrases, such as when Wendy said we will be home in a jiffy, she said, "No, it's jippy. We will be home in a jippy!"

She also called Wendy's beauty mark a "booby mark".

Conversation with EKG the other day, as I was watching her eat an apple.

EKG:”Daddy, why are you looking at me?”

Me: “Because you are my daughter and I love you.”

EKG: After taking a bite of apple and thinking. “Daddy, ask me why I’m looking at you.”

Me: “Nora, why are you looking at me?”

EKG:”Because you are my daddy and I love you.”

The other night putting them to bed, Jack said, "Your beard is getting long, Daddy. You need to cut it." I asked Nora if I need to cut it and she looked up at me and touched it and said, "No Daddy, it's beautiful!"

Jack Droppings

Here is a post of some random things I've jotted down about Jack, but never made it into a full post. Better clear out the drafts before the new year.

Jack, and one other girl in his class, have been using my/mine instead of I/I’m so we get

“Mine Burp”
“My love dump trucks!”
“My am poopy”
“My help you please, Mommy?”

Twinkle Twinkle has been his favorite bedtime song for months and months. He loves to sing along, off key, and sings it, “Twinkle twinkle, little star. How my wonder what you are.”

Other phrases that make us laugh:

“That unbelievable!”

“You amazing , daddy!”

"That an excavator!"

"My am Super Why!"



He also doesn’t say the “s” in words that start with an s and consonant, so he gets “crapes” (scrapes) and “cracthes” (scratches), he likes to “pie with my little eye” (spy) and he is a “peedy runner” (speedy). He likes “cool” (school) where the other day he made a “tar” (star) for the tree. He loves to point out “quirrels” (squirrels) and sometimes at night he gets “cared” (scared).

He has the sweetest, “Hi daddy!” I’ve ever heard, even when he uses it when I catch him on the stairs after he has gotten out of bed after bed time. It's followed with, "What are you doing,Buddy?" "Ummmmm, Nothing!"


He has also been a great delivery man, “my am making deliveries”, with his dump truck which he fills up with water bottles and brings to us on the couch.

"How did he die?"

Ever since Nora was 2 or so she took an interest in how things died. I think this stems from her fascination with dinosaurs, since at the end of almost every book it talks about how they went extinct. I remember the first time she really understood that dinosaurs were extinct and how sad she was talking about missing them and never being able to see them.

Since then she has asked how my mom and Wendy's dad died, as well as how all of our old pets died. We have also talked about how plants die and she got sad this year when the trees lost their leaves. It was kind of striking at first, but since Wendy and I are "reality based parents", we were happy to explain how our loved ones have passed. Nora has always taken it in stride and has asked a lot of questions, about how we felt and how we still fell ("Do you miss her?"). There is a reason multiple teachers have called her the most empathetic kid they have ever taught.



About a month ago we were reading a book about Washington D.C. they showed the mint and a $5 dollar bill, so she asked who he was.

G:"Abraham Lincoln, he was President of the United States."
EKG: "Is he dead?"

G:"Yes he died a long time ago."

EKG:"How did he die?"

G:"Well, he was shot and died."

EKG: Looking confused -"But I get shots and I don't die."
G: Realizing I just crossed a line of childhood innocence - "Well a man shot him with a gun and killed him"
EKG:"What was that mans name?"
G: "His name was John Wilkes Booth."
EKG: "Why did he kill him?"
G: : Wish I had given cancer as the cause - "Well Lincoln did a lot of great things, but some of those things made some people mad."
EKG: "He must not have been a nice man."
G: "No he was not a nice man at all. But Lincoln accomplished so much before he was killed we still celebrate him as one of the greatest presidents."

She got very quiet and had tears in her eyes, so I hugged her and tried to be comforting. Well, as comforting as one can be about murder anyway.

It's funny how desensitized you become about murder and violence, it's on the news and in almost every tv show or movie. It was sweet, and a little sad, to see her shocked reaction to the idea that people would willingly kill each other. She is used to things dying and animals killing and eating meat, so I didn't think of the difference until I saw it in her eyes. I'm glad at almost 4.5 years old it came as such a surprise to her that humans can be cruel. For many kids her age person on person violence is a reality not a revelation. She will have plenty of time as an adult to deal with hurtful people, she should enjoy the innocence for as long as she can.

Of course, she was fine the next morning and the next time we read that book she remembered Lincoln's name. How he died didn't come up in the conversation.

Happy Halloween

Pure Joy

How is that for a kid having fun? Taken at Italian Fest a couple weeks ago.

End of Summer

We have finished up summer with lots of outside walks, trips to the zoo, local festivals, and a wonderful weekend to visit family in Lyons, Ohio. The children often bring me sticks, flowers, acorns, leaves, and assorted grasses (Jack says, "A very beautiful flower for you, Mama!"). I simply do not have the heart to throw them away when they are so excited to give the beautiful nature to me; so, I started this Nature Bouquet to display the treasures. The rocks & shells are from Whidbey Island in the San Juan Islands of the Puget Sound. The whole thing has resulted in a lovely addition to the kitchen. It makes me smile and has the added benefit of making dish washing significantly less dreary.

Here's a look at the kiddos, growing so big with sweet smiles. Here with the "babies" they chose to take to school this particular day. I cannot help but flash forward to 5 or so years from now when they are in cahoots together scheming some way to outsmart me. Can't you see it too?

And look at our big 4 1/2 year old girl. Still has those dimples! I am drawn to the happy poses since the emotion regulation task of her age has us riding a roller coaster of significant highs and lows throughout the day. Whew buddy, I had no idea a kid could be so happy one minute and melt down into complete despair the next. It does make me appreciate parents all over the world, past and present, who have lived through their kid figuring out appropriate emotional responses to getting and not getting what they want.

Last weekend we visited Geoff's cousin, Susan and her family. Susan and Joe have been married for 33 years (amazing!). There is a quite famous picture of Geoff as a five year old in their wedding in a cutest white tuxedo ever. Geoff's mom Susie loved that picture and since it was just her birthday, I was thinking about how much she would love that we spent time with Susan and Joe on their family's land. There is a gorgeous pond, corn field, and barn, not to mention the breathtaking home. One of my favorite spots (which I discovered only because there were four extra adults around to keep eyes on the kids) is the big rock and grave marker of Susan's mom and Susie's sister, Barb. She is buried there by the pond under the shade of a pretty tree. I am comforted by knowing that anyone can visit Barb without effort; with a steaming hot cup of coffee in the foggy morning as I did; or even in your pajamas if you like! I really think we would all deal with death a little easier if we grew up with reminders of our dearly departed close to home.

Well, we played and visited a farm, chose wonderful vegetables and the best apples you'll ever eat (Seriously, Ohio should be famous for its honey crisp apples). Joe let the kids drive the tractor and we all took turns, even me!


And, as is true when you visit people with big hearts and a genuine love for children, the entertainment seemed effortless. Here Susan adorned Nora Kate with jewels and scarves until she found her inner gypsy. April and Luke were there the whole weekend too and so Nora and Jack both found friends in the young 20-somethings, who seemed to also delight in our babies. I know that you parents out there will understand this, if you have kids over the age of 2. Not everyone in the world finds our kids as amazing, funny, smart, or fascinating as Geoff and I do. Now, don't get me wrong, we all need our breaks from kid-centered attention. But, I have come to appreciate the adults we encounter who truly and genuinely find pleasure in my children's laughter. Those people who interact with them on their level instead of waiting for our kids to come to them. The rare individual who engages them in a way which challenges and cherishes them for simply being on the earth. Susan, Joe, Luke & April are these kind of people and we thank you so much for the love. Susan and Joe are about to become grandparents for the first time, but they are already really, really good at it!

So, as we enjoy the 80-degree weather outside in October, we have been blogging less and less; but hiking and walking and biking and leaf collecting cannot wait! We know you understand. Finally, I'll end the post by wishing Happy Birthday to baby Eleanor Rose, born just about a week ago now, to our friends Todd and Lauren. Welcome to the world little one!