Big Shister & Her Little Bother

Well, it really has started--sibling maltreatment. I remember it well, feeling entitled to treat my brother like crap just because he annoyed me. Well, our babies have entered the phase, or at least one of them has. Just this weekend, Nora started shutting her brother out of rooms and screaming "I need my space!" and pushing, biting, and basically screaming at him or melting down into an emotional mess when he touches her "stuff." Just when her school behavior is going so well, her emotional highs and lows seem to be leveling out, she has a new annoyance.

Nora's emotion and subsequent actions toward Jack are in constant vacillation. Each moment, Geoff and I are not sure which it will be as the movement between the two sides are so seamless. Love and hate, thoughtfulness and bullying, gentle and harmful.

And where is Jack in all of this? Let me preface this by saying, I know his time will come. He will be mean to her, pester her, emotionally push her buttons and not care a bit about her tears, but that day is not today. Today, he is the sad one wondering why she won't just let him play with her. Jack is outside the locked (a lock, which we never thought of until Nora started to use it as a solid barrier between her brother and herself) door repeating over and over "come in, shister? come in shister?" It was the saddest thing.

Then, he was sitting in my arms when I noticed a bite mark on his arm and, stayed silent as I listened to Nora's "I did it" confession (while smiling) and reminded her again to use words. And, he is the one who runs to give her a hug and a kiss goodnight, every night, before bed, saying "good night shister."

Of course Nora protects him fiercely, mothers him, and loves on him too. She has a special tone of voice for only him, she cuddles him and gives him treats when he has already finished his. She introduces him to everyone before introducing herself and she loves teaching him something new.

And, Jack, well, he just wants to do whatever she is doing. He wants to be included and play with her in whatever fun game she has invented. So, we watch and intervene as needed, remind about kindness and what a family is and try and let them work out their own frustrations, arguments, and problems. We also get lots of laughter and moments to be proud when they are sweet to each other.

Some recent pictures:Genuine smiles

With Mookie pup, giving him love

And here is Jack, in his sister's OSU jersey from cousin Lindsey, which he picked out to wear one morning. He wants to wear her shoes, and this day, her clothes. Maybe it reminded him of her through his day, or maybe he just likes the color pink. Who knows. But, look at how happy he is!

OK, last thought: I think most of you who still read the blog are also on Facebook. Why do you like Facebook? I have never been on it and don't have time to link up with people I don't currently have in my life, so I wonder if I am just getting old and cranky about technology or I just haven't discovered the magic that is a social networking site yet. Convince me.

Another Step

It's funny the things you don't think about needing to teach your children in their way to becoming adults. Eleanor Kate's vocabulary has been increasing at an amazing rate and she has picked up some funny phrases from Wendy and I as well as from kids at school. Using these words/phrases in a socially acceptable way is a hurdle I never thought much about.

Nora has always loved seeing babies and instead of staring at them like a silent goon we have taught her to ask the parent, "What is the baby's name?" This seemed to work well, with few reminders, until she learned the phrase: "No Way!" Friday at the bookstore we ran into a mother with a baby, Nora asked his name and upon hearing Elliot said, "No Way!" The obviously experienced mother replied with "Way!" and we all had a laugh.

On Sunday, the first day that truly felt like spring, we went on a Family walk and ran into a young couple walking their baby. Nora was fascinated and after they told her the baby's name she replied with "No way!" . . . . awkward silence. Wendy and I told her that "No Way!" was not the most appropriate response after hearing the name of a baby and gave her some suggestions of what to say in future situations. I wasn't sure she got the idea of why that might catch people off guard, but thought we would talk about it later.

Half a block down the road I saw a striking male Cardinal on a branch 10 feet away. I pointed "the bright red bird" out to her. She excitedly asked, "What's that bird's name?", I said It's a Cardinal." and she replied "That's a nice name." It's fun to watch the little changes and nuances she picks up on every day and even if we aren't sure at the time she is listening to us.

She has also become pretty good at the camera, the pictures below are all by Eleanor Kate.


Moo Moo.


I call this one,Watch out behind you Coconut.


Jackie is not as big a fan of her new found passion for photography.


Nice use of sunlight in the background.