July 14, 2013

*I wrote this on July 14, 2013, but apparently never posted it. It is never too late to publish a Mama Musing Birthday Post* Eleanor Kate is six years old; no longer a Kindergartener, and not yet a First Grader. I have been a Mama for six years. That shocks me, but then makes me smile. I confess that I wonder daily if I am doing the best I can at this job of Mom. I am lucky to have her and most days, I think she feels lucky to have me too. Let me tell who she is, through her Mama’s eyes, in this, my annual Mama Musing Birthday Post. Eleanor (the name I still love; the one she yells “Don’t call me that!”) is sassy and independent, smart and sensitive. She is a thinker, an observer, and such a snuggly kid. She adores her Daddy and her brother; despite brother being quite a bother these days. Teachers say that she is thoughtful and kind, smart and creative. Friends mostly say that she is smart and sweet. She is making friends easily, and I have learned that declarations of loneliness and isolation might be a tiny bit dramatic and a cry for some Mama love and attention. Today I was looking at baby pictures I have around my office and every picture conjures a memory of a littler, needier Nora Kate. My first baby, my daughter, my girl. From day one, I have hoped I could give you both roots and wings—grounded home and independence. Eleanor tests me daily—sometimes on purpose to see what will happen and other days by accident, but some days I feel like all I do is correct her. Eleanor still runs to me when I pick her up and gives her Dad and me such genuine love. Eleanor whispers confessions of unwise choices now, but still admits them freely (and I expect this will change as she grows). She acts as if she knows everything yet can be shy and uncertain too. Sometimes she will argue with me about the sky being blue; and sometimes she is amazed at what I know. She can read, yet doesn’t want to. She can do math in her head, but doesn’t want to. She can write just about anything with spelling help, yet doesn’t want to. Eleanor has declared weekends as “Stay Home” or “lazy” days and she loves to cook with me. She understands when I say “tone” in public (it means you are using a rude tone of voice to an adult and it is inappropriate) and quickly apologizes; but still reacts with “No” when she is being told something she doesn’t like. Eleanor stomps off in protest, yells a lot, and gets frustrated quickly. I think those are all signs of passion and leadership; but we have some fine tuning to do over the next ten or so years. She loves singing and dancing and still loves dinosaurs. Eleanor, you still say that you will be a Paleontologist when you grow up. And when I say, “I love that! I know you will. I do want you to know it’s a lot of school,” I absolutely love it when you say “I don’t care!” I also love it when I sing to you at night and you let Dolphina (stuffed Dolphin) nuzzle my nose in thanks through the slats on your high bunk bed. So, my girl, another year has come and gone and now you are six years old. You have a sentimental and strong Mama who will nag you incessantly about your education and your behavior. I will teach you to work hard for your own money and choose a partner in life who is the icing on the cupcake you baked for yourself. Hopefully you keep the incredible love of self you have right now; find love of friends without becoming someone you are not; and eventually, the love of a life partner who compliments the amazing person you are. Be smart and know that I love you every single day and I always, always, always will. Happy Birthday kiddo, Love You, Mom

Mama Musings on A Celebration of Five

My youngest, the baby, the kiddo, boy, buddy, and bubby is five years old today. This is the one who still snuggles me, loves things and people unconditionally, shows every known emotion, and knows how to fib to get an extra treat (or, to get out of eating a fruit or vegetable).

Regular conversations with me go something like this: "Mama, pretend I'm your baby." "You are my Baby," I always reply. "Mama, pretend I am your newborn baby" "Ok" after which I always do an exaggerated "Come here baby, how's the baby?" and tickle his tummy so he'll finish our turn-taking roles and giggle, then sleepily close his eyes for a baby nod-off.

Where have the five years since his birth gone? Well, in the past year, our moments have been spent at soccer, baseball, and basketball practices. Playroom hockey and football scrimmages, playing cowboys and being ninjas. Lots of play fighting as pirates (but never meanly), lots of answering what [fill-in-the-blank word] means and playing "Ask a Hundred Questions" (our version of 20 Questions); multiple debates about the qualitative difference between "light savers" and "light sabers" and arguing about wearing shorts in 20 degree weather. Along with writing his name, learning math in everyday life, leading rock group sing-alongs, and running. Always running, racing, daring this Mama to follow, keep up and try to catch him!!!!!!

Oh my boy, today I muse about how wonderfully smart and engaging you are; how easily popular you are, even when you are shy in the mornings. I get to have this amazing child love me and ask me to be Anakin or Luke; cowboy camp director, or an NHL player on a daily basis. I get to be the recipient of kisses and hugs that have no hesitation or embarrassment. In fact, he just said this: "I'll never let you
go. Mama, this might be kind of sad, but I'll let you go only when you are dead." You see? This child....FIVE today, and so loving, so thoughtful, like an old soul who knows that those we love are worth holding on to.

And, as for me, I genuinely see these are special days. I know I am lucky. That, and knowing how fast your childhood is moving brings the tears. Kid, it's like the peed of light. Really peedy (and because you still cannot say your s-consonent words, that means speedy in this family). Oh, and, you drive me nuts. Yes, you do, with incessant requests which you repeat despite my replies. With your tenacity and persistence that literally tire me out. And sarcasm, already. You take work and energy that I simply run out of some days. And since I tell you so, it makes your invites to lay down to read all the more sweet; the "Want a kiss?" questions that much more precious. And here is a truth that you and I know: You don't take it personally. You laugh. You smile. You try to make me happy. And that, my son, is why you have my heart. And why, when you silently walked away crying tonight when you thought you could not have a full ice cream cake, your whole family tried to fix the problem. And, when we did fix the problem, your happiness made us happy. You have the most infectious laugh of anyone I know. Anyone.

When I asked you what you wanted to be when you grew up, you answered "everything." Then, when I told you what stand-up comedians do, you said you wanted to be a "stand up chameleon." We all laughed, and you were then convinced, stand up chameleon, now that is a great aspiration.

Jackson Caulfield, you make me a better person with your love. Today has been a great Celebration of Five. I hope we are always playing, singing, debating, and laughing together. I loved you then, I love you still, Always have, Always will. And...I've loved you longer, Mama

The Best Game Ever

There are certain times since becoming a Mom that stand out as amazing. One of those happened yesterday: Jack's first T-Ball game. Honestly, this little kid stuff can be so hard and I question how good I am at it: you know, being patient, affirming self worth, building up rather than tearing down....but then, we get to watch 3 and 4 year olds play a T-Ball game. Seriously wonderful. The Best Game Ever. Here are some pictures from the game:

Hanging out waiting for something to happen

Making sure he is on his marker as shortstop.

The Kool-aid bunch (Jack's team & coach)

Jack in the batter's box! Ready!

And, Nora was less than thrilled at the prospect of watching a bunch of kids play ball, so she let everyone know it (hehe):

Together

Tonight the Grove clan went to a new park.  While Mama and Jack were playing tag with all the other kids, Nora and I ended up on the swings alone.

g: " Look we are swinging at the same speed."
EKG: "Yeah, I like swinging with you, Daddy."
g: " Me too."

After a couple of seconds.

EKG: "I think we were meant to be together."
g: "I think so too.

Tink and Tuffed

Jack has been getting a nap at preschool every day.  Jack does not need a nap at preschool everyday.  The other night he made several trips downstairs and even helped daddy kill zombies.  After our stern stay the hell in bed voice, I heard him creep down the stairs.

g: "What is it Jack?"
j: "A bug."
g: "What kinds of bug?"
j: "Another one of those 'tink bugs, daddy."

As I go up to kill the stink bug;

g: "How did you know there was a stink bug here?"
j: " ummmmm . . . I was getting another 'tuffed animal."
g: "Do you think you have enough stuffed animals to go to sleep?
j: " ummmm . . .  no."
g: " Grab one more and go to sleep."
j: "OK, Daddy!"

Haven't heard a peep since.

Earth without ART is just EH

The kids both had art shows in the first week of May.

Here is some of their art (Nora, age 5 1/2, Jack age 4):

Nora singing the welcome song to kick off the Art Festival with her class

Monarch Butterfly by Nora

Broadway Boogie Woogie by Nora

Flower by Nora

Penguin by Nora (& the artist herself!)

Ceramic & Marker by Jack

Tissue Paper Flowers on Pipe Cleaner Stems

Georgia O'Keefe inspired flower by Jack

Clay Bug by Jack

Spring Hopes with Bikes!

Yesterday, the sunny, mild weather got us all thinking about bike rides!

Went in for old bike tune-ups and ended up with a new bike for Nora! She was much too tall for her old bike and this was just so cute. The frustrating, sad, and funny part of the story is that she cried the whole time we waited for the installation. Why? Because I said they could donate her old bike. Upset because "You gave me that bike for my birthday, it's mine, I just haven't pictured life without it." So, what did I do after an unconvincing conversation about donating things we will no longer use? Haul the dumb thing back to our house and put it in the garage. *sigh*  I figure that we will keep talking and she will make the decision to donate and actually it will be a better lesson and empower her to donate things herself. By the time we got home, she was all smiles again.

And here is Jack, with a great bike which belonged to his (now 16-year old!) Skyler. It is in great shape and we simply added Nora's old training wheels. Yesterday was his FIRST TIME EVER on a big boy bike and he took off! Sad part of his story is that the wheel, despite being professionally installed, fell off in mid-ride, causing a skinned knee and some tears. He ended up running along side his sister while I drug the disabled bike home. It's fixed again, but I might go get some more hearty training wheels. *sidebar* Can you believe how expensive training wheels are???? $25 - 30!!!!

At any rate, we are READY for Spring and certainly for Summer! We will be going to Oregon for a visit, up North to our family in Lyons, and starting soccer (for Jack) and dance classes (for Nora). Other activities have already started, with Science Scouts and Daisy Scouts; and of course, bike rides, dog walks, and yard work now that the deep freeze seems to be waning.

Belated Birthday Boy

I didn't want Jackson's birthday to get too far in the past for my annual mama musings post. He turned FOUR on December 15, 2012 and is the neatest kid. Energetic, loving, and smarter than a preschooler should be. His laugh is infectious; his questions are thoughtful; and his hugs are strong. He doesn't mind that I call him "baby," even as he reminds me he is growing fast. He runs at sonic peed (speed). He runs all the time; often with a cape and mask on. He still needs a nap, but refuses to take one; likes help with the tooth brushing and balks at baths. Jackson, at four, you eat these foods: pancakes, cereal, chocolate covered granola bars, chicken nuggets with ketchup, spaghetti (which he says "Pa-getty), and peanut butter (by the spoonful, just like his Dad). I can get you to do almost anything for a doughnut; and in the car, you talk non-stop. It wears me out, but I know you will get sullen and non-talkative in a few years, so I am trying to enjoy the moments now.

Masked Crusaders!

We made capes!

The mayhem!

At four, I simply adore being your Mom. Boo Boo Bear, you are an awesome kid, best son a Mama could ever have. I love singing "Soft Kitty" to you; love snuggling your small (but growing so big!) body; and love the way you repeat something that makes me laugh just to hear me laugh again. Kid, as you grow, I just want you to know that feel lucky to be your Mom. I worry so much about you; but am determined not to be a helicopter parent who is afraid to let you live. We really had fun at your Superhero Birthday Party! More importantly, I have fun with you everyday. Thanks for asking me to play with you; I don't mind being the villain, as long as you continue being the good guy.  

These Kids

I'll Always Be Your Kiddo

Dear Jackson Caulfield, you are going through a phase. The phase includes showing adoration upon your Mama at the excruciating exclusion of all others. It means you say the sweetest thing to me, like "You are best mama in the whole world!" and "I [want to] make you feel loved."

Tonight, the inspiration for returning to this chronicle of our life of Growing Up Grove was this: "Mama, I'll always be your kiddo. Even when I'm grown, I'll still be your kid." Yes, I answered, and I will always be your Mama, today and always, no matter how old you or I get.

Then, as I sometimes have a habit of doing, I muttered to myself: "If I could bottle this...keep you this sweet forever." Whenever I think I am talking to myself, they always hear me. So, then Jack said, "Why Mama?" Oh, because you will grow and I hope you will be this sweet forever, but maybe you won't.

Like when you are 5, as evidenced by his 5 1/2 year old sister calling my actions "disgusting" because I made her get off the tablet when she couldn't control her emotions over Jack "destroying her game" (for posterity's sake: the game was Tic-tac-Toe). But, I still love her, because she, too will always be my kiddo.

First Trip of the Year

The family spent a few days up north in Akron and Cleveland, Ohio this past week. It was wonderful. First, we spent Sunday afternoon and over night with our friends, Jeff, Carrie & Jackson Neitzke. They were absolutely wonderful, fun, and as, always, the most tolerant and lovely hosts (Thanks for sharing all of your neat toys, Jackson!). Thanks guys, we had a blast and loved seeing you all!

Monday morning, we started out in search of a Denny's since we don't have any in Columbus (how crazy is that?), but ended up at local little diner instead. Best part? Machines which were only 25 cents filled with real toys and candy, like the good old days. They each got a handful of candy and a small trinket, which is a great way to start the day if you are three and four and on vacation!

Then, we spent the next several hours at the Cleveland Museum of Natural History. It was small, but perfect for the kids at this age. They were scared by the Mythical Creatures Exhibit (Griffins, Unicorns, etc.), loved the real dinosaur fossils, and raced through the 2 acres of outdoor live animals (hawks, otters, and assorted other birds). Here they are hugging the Stegosaurus "hello."And here, Jack is fascinated by the fossil skeleton of the T-Rex (his personal favorite). As nap time approached and meltdowns were imminent, we left the Museum and had lunch on the road toward our hotel back in the direction of home. After lunch and falling asleep in the car, the kids rallied in time to check into the hotel and get a look at the reason you stay in a hotel with pre-schoolers: the POOL! Geoff did a great job with that and the enormous pool was perfect for this family.

Happy happy kiddo after a nap in the room and on our way to the pool!

One more happy one of Nora Kate!

So, on the way home, we stopped at my favorite local cheese place, Grandpa's Cheese Barn. Those of you who know me, know that I force this stop whenever I pass through Ashland, Ohio. I take visitors from out-of-state there. I, of course, take my family there. We spent at least an hour there on both Sunday and then again on Tuesday, thanks to a Christmas gift certificate from Pam & Scott. We should have brought you something, but shamelessly spent $50 on chocolate dinosaurs, salad dressing, and 1/2 pound of Canadian Cheddar and 1/2 pound of Smoked Gouda; plus some more treats including black raspberry spread and chocolate and graham sticks for the dipping instead. Thanks for the gift certificate! And, sorry we suck.

We had so much fun together and cannot wait for the next family vacation. June will take all of us to Chicago for a few days, and who knows after that! Oregon family, we have been looking for cheap flights, but alas, I do not think such a thing exists anymore. We will get there for sure, just not sure when.

When I was Three & For the Love of Science

Nora Kate has taken to reminiscing about "When I was three, I..." (fill in the blank). It is quite hilarious, that at the ripe old age of 4, she considers being three her personal life history, filled with many lessons worthy of being passed down to her brother. I am very proud of her, she is growing up so fast and maybe she senses it too. She is doing "chores" she will proudly tell anyone: feeding and making sure her two baby kittens have water and a clean litter box. Today, she dressed herself from top to bottom proudly and completely independently. Love it-sad by it-love it (I waffle at these moments, but tend to outwardly only show the love it part of me). On Wednesday, Geoff and I attended the Columbus Public Schools' School Choice Fair, to select a kindergarten for our girl. I can hardly believe she will be old enough. We have to choose three schools to try and lottery into. Applications are due in 27 days.

I've been posting a lot on Facebook, and have decided that although I like connecting with old high school friends and lots of my cousins, I miss the posting and writing that this blog provides. Above is a picture from a great morning play date with our friend Evey. Jack is a pirate bumblebee, of course. Speaking of Jack, he just had his 3 year check-up (7 weeks late).

Jack, at age three and 1 1/2 months is 40.5 inches tall and 43 pounds--both in the 97th percentile. This is significant because Jack has always been a much lower percentile in height than weight. Now, he is at the top in both. That was yesterday. Today, for the love of science, Jack and Mommy participated in a 2 hour experience at the Ohio State University Lab for Family & Child Counseling that had he and I doing all kinds of fun things. We played with an Etch-a-Sketch where he could move one knob and I could only move the other and we had to try and complete a maze together. He had to sort things by color and shape, point to answers from 4 pictures, unlock a box with a toy inside, and put toys away on cue. He also endured the "treat" waiting game and the scary mask experiment. Jack waited a FULL eight minutes (the extent of the experiment), like he was told, to get a treat which was right in front of him. He did not lick it, taste it, or even touch it; even when he was left alone. The three 18 year old experimenters could not believe that he had so much patience. I simply said, "Second child. He is used to waiting for things." For my part, I was given a vocabulary quiz and was feeling pretty good until the last 10 words or so. I actually asked if the last word was English because I had never heard it. I am sooooooo curious how I did. Jack got every answer right in his tests, until he tired of the "games" and started his own by giving obviously wrong answers. When he pointed to a circle when asked to identify a diamond, I whispered in his ear, "Jackson Caulfield, are you playing a game with her?" He smiled at me and nodded his head ever so slightly, like we were in cahoots against them. It made me laugh and I hope the video tape caught the exchange. He is a brilliant kid who I had so much fun with--although I wanted to help him through the tasks. He didn't need me, except for comfort and security. It was a good day to be this kiddos' mom, which is nice given that upon coming home, my primary task was to wash poop out of underwear. Ah, motherhood.

Speaking of motherhood, my Eleanor has been quite the lovely child lately, after a long few months of throwing fits and yelling like a banshee for not getting her way. Honestly, the "terrible twos" is a misnomer or a left over from when people only lived until age 40. Three to Four and a half is B-A-D. Being told to "stop bossing me around" by a pre-schooler and the sassiest "NO!" you can ever imagine are hopefully memories now that my girl is on her way to five. Here, Reggie snuggles in for night night.

I don't remember when I was three, but Nora asked me the other day if I liked being an adult. I answered "Yes, I do" and then she grabbed my hand and said, "I'm glad you're a Mom best of all." Awwww, me too kiddo.

Nora Droppings

Nora loves being a mother. A couple months ago I took the kids to the park and while I was busy playing with Jack, Nora found her way over to an 8 month old baby in the swing. I went over to make sure she was playing gently enough and the mother assured she had been “very sweet”. The baby’s name was Rex and Nora was happy pushing him and talking to him in a baby voice until it was time for Baby Rex and his siblings to leave. For the entire ride home and several days/weeks after she kept talking about Baby Rex and when we would see them again.

As a good older sister she also likes to mother Jack, at least when she isn’t picking on him. She will try and comfort him with toys, or songs when he is upset. She also like to be the “mother” during baths and tries to wash him, which results in the bathroom floor being covered in water. Sometimes she will talk to him in a baby voice, “You like trucks don’t you, Jackie?”, “You’re a good little boy!” and react like a proud Mama, “awwww, he is the cutest!”.

She has been talking like an expert and using the phrase “of course”, as in “Well, I needed to get the dinosaur eggs, of course”.

This confidence has cause her to argue with us on some phrases, such as when Wendy said we will be home in a jiffy, she said, "No, it's jippy. We will be home in a jippy!"

She also called Wendy's beauty mark a "booby mark".

Conversation with EKG the other day, as I was watching her eat an apple.

EKG:”Daddy, why are you looking at me?”

Me: “Because you are my daughter and I love you.”

EKG: After taking a bite of apple and thinking. “Daddy, ask me why I’m looking at you.”

Me: “Nora, why are you looking at me?”

EKG:”Because you are my daddy and I love you.”

The other night putting them to bed, Jack said, "Your beard is getting long, Daddy. You need to cut it." I asked Nora if I need to cut it and she looked up at me and touched it and said, "No Daddy, it's beautiful!"

Jack Droppings

Here is a post of some random things I've jotted down about Jack, but never made it into a full post. Better clear out the drafts before the new year.

Jack, and one other girl in his class, have been using my/mine instead of I/I’m so we get

“Mine Burp”
“My love dump trucks!”
“My am poopy”
“My help you please, Mommy?”

Twinkle Twinkle has been his favorite bedtime song for months and months. He loves to sing along, off key, and sings it, “Twinkle twinkle, little star. How my wonder what you are.”

Other phrases that make us laugh:

“That unbelievable!”

“You amazing , daddy!”

"That an excavator!"

"My am Super Why!"



He also doesn’t say the “s” in words that start with an s and consonant, so he gets “crapes” (scrapes) and “cracthes” (scratches), he likes to “pie with my little eye” (spy) and he is a “peedy runner” (speedy). He likes “cool” (school) where the other day he made a “tar” (star) for the tree. He loves to point out “quirrels” (squirrels) and sometimes at night he gets “cared” (scared).

He has the sweetest, “Hi daddy!” I’ve ever heard, even when he uses it when I catch him on the stairs after he has gotten out of bed after bed time. It's followed with, "What are you doing,Buddy?" "Ummmmm, Nothing!"


He has also been a great delivery man, “my am making deliveries”, with his dump truck which he fills up with water bottles and brings to us on the couch.